And you lot thought I was a canon nazi ;)

This is not a canon.

A nice thick shaft and some big balls.

Me, I’m actually very forgiving when it comes to canon. I have to be, because I slash. If I want to slash Edward pre-Twilight (which I’ve done a fair bit), in order to be canon-compliant, I have to assume that Edward was lying to Bella in the meadow. Which I’ve always seen as being quite feasible, because honestly, is he really going to tell his 17 year old virginal human girlfriend that he was shagging his ‘father’ way back in the day?

Yeah, nah (<—that’s kiwi, that is).

As I interact more with some of the vampfic authors around that aren’t strictly slash writers, I’m coming to realise that my own canon standards are pretty lax. Lacking even. They likely look at me like I look at twi-vamps that bleed ;)

I’m okay with that, because I write slash. I like writing slash. I don’t have a particular issue with cheating in fics (yeah, I’m a minority there, I know) as long as it’s not too far fetched, so I’ll happily imagine Emmett and Edward screwing on their hunting trips, Jasper driving Edward mad with lust using his gift, Carlisle and Edward unable to let go of the relationship they had before Esme came along, and Edward and Jacob sucking each other off in the tent unbeknownst to sleeping Bella ;)

I’ve said it before. I don’t give a rats arse about canon pairings ;)

Timeline, yeah. Mythology (SM’s world) hell the fuck yeah (almost a non-negotiable when I’m writing, even if I’m way AU). But pairings? Meh. As long as no one breaks up or dies and it all fits with the Bella POV we were given in the four books of the Saga, I’m entirely comfortable with calling my shit canon.

I don’t own the illustrated guide or whatever it’s called. I don’t pay much attention to Steph’s ‘personal correspondence’ or interviews or whatever. It’s donkey’s since I bothered looking at Midnight Sun. I’ll concede that within the AH and/or slash corners of the fandom, I’m considered a little extreme. But me? Apparently not a canon nazi ;)

What got me thinking about it is The Canon Tour. solareclipses is bringing us a series of contests focusing on canon and AU fic. If you thought writing canon within the VampSlash contest was a challenge, slashing for The Canon Tour is gonna be very, very challenging. You’re likely going to be hard pressed to pull off an Edward/Jasper in this contest. I couldn’t do it. For a start I’m too lazy to lay down the backstory ;)

Honestly, it freaked me out a little. Me, canon nazi, not being able to write for a canon contest? Unthinkable!

It’s totally possible. Totally doable. Lots of mysterious years and mysterious characters to play with. If only I had the time *sigh*

There’s another canon contest going on right now, The Cullen Swingers contest. Must be canon, must be vamp, must be Cullens, must be shagging someone other than their own spouse, but I think PJ is a little more relaxed than even me about monogamy (in fiction!) :)

So I figure between those two vastly different contests anyone can write themselves a bit of canon slash.

Me, I’m trying to figure out where I’ll fit best.

(and don’t forget to vote in The Twifestivals!)

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5 responses to “And you lot thought I was a canon nazi ;)

  • sinsofthepianoman

    Haha, this made me laugh! XD Sorry the Canon Tour feels restrictive. I knew some would feel it was, and I did consider alternative rules to the canon pairing one, but I went with it for a few reasons.

    To me, pairings are a part of canon; changing them often significantly changes personalities and mythologies. Considering the notion of canon is mainly Biblical in origin, I often relate it to the Bible, which would be quite a different book if Jesus were boning his disciples…

    There’s probably a story of that on FFn.


    If we consider SM’s canon mythology at all, well, canon, the pairing (mating) is an issue, I think, at least when it comes to the more puritanical, “vegetarian” Cullens. Unless you REALLY stretch their personalities to the point of extreme OOCness, they probably aren’t swingers behind closed doors. I think as soon as they’re mated, they’re like some birds: it’s forever, and any other would pale in comparison. To me, that’s the whole central theme of the saga, so to break that doesn’t seem too canon to me. However, I think Pre-Twilight is a lot easier to do this in. Carlisle with Demetri? I can see that…if the writer can convince me he’s figured out how to overlook his human years of fundie Bible-banging. After he’s met Esme? I don’t see it.

    I’ve thought before, given what we know of nomads and the Volturi and how they’re hopped up on human blood, that they may have different feelings on the matter–and I have written Sulpicia with Didyme–but most writers will just want to pair Edward with someone else, without much thought on it. Making a non-canon pairing canon-like can be done, like in giselle’s For a Season, but I was hesitant to allow writers to explore it in what aims to preserve canon to some degree, even in AUs.

    There’s also the fact that I don’t trust most writers to do the work needed on a non-canon pairing, lol, and laziness usually equals poor quality, which I’m trying to avoid as much as is feasible in the rounds. I know from beta’ing that writers, particularly new ones, take extreme shortcuts that not even a beta can sometimes remedy. That’s not as painful to read when dealing with a canon pairing, I think, because readers kind of already know what they should expect, even if they’re not properly given it.

    With a non-canon pairing where the writer tries to make sense of it within canon / canon AU, that takes, as you said, lots of backstory and finesse; most writers, and again especially the new ones, won’t want to bother with that. That’s okay. I’m not against anyone exploring anything. I just feel I should let the writers who really want to do non-canon pairings–and not be judged on their canon work–do so in another competition. Most challenges embrace all pairings and universes nowadays, as far as I know. I could be wrong, but I think the Canon Tour is an exception here, not a rule (ironically!).

    Anywho, thanks for mentioning the contest! I hope it gets some good submissions, in spite of it seeming strict. Who knows? Maybe someone will come up with a really good, canon slash work that I’ll joyfully accept and you’ll want to read.

    We can dream, can’t we? lol!

    • vampireisthenewblack

      It only feels restrictive because I’m so used to bending the rules ;) To be honest, I like that it is. Anything that can desensitise the rest of the fandom to canon-shock is good in my book. I mean, we got a couple people writing vamp who had never tried it before in the VampSlash contest and I thought that was awesome. Hopefully you’ll get more newbies (because IMO, once they get a taste…).

      I think I’m right in the middle between you and PJ with the Swingers contest. I don’t buy that they would be quite so blasé about swapping, but I can’t deal with pure and perfect either. Hey, I’d be screwed for stories if I were considering Carlisle is one of my most frequently slashed characters and he’s so…moral. Damn, Edward too.

      But as I said, it’s totally possible to adhere to strict canon and still write slash. You just have to justify it. My issue is that I am too lazy (or perhaps I should blame the lack of writing time?) to do all that backstory. My entire lack of attention span would never allow it ;)

      Carlisle with Demetri is an intriguing thought. it’s not canon, but there is an Edward/Demetri New Moon AU (Tracking Redemption) that I bought completely. And I still maintain that my Carlisle/Alec (The Way of Virtue) could be canon ;) I don’t think he really needs to overlook his bible banging, but perhaps that’s a modern perspective and I simply can’t understand because I’m not a 17th century pastors son. Or perhaps I just love to make him (any of them, really) angst.

      Totally get you on the trust thing. Beta’ing vamp is hard. I’m always wanting to fiddle with their shit (I’m definitely the SM’s world/mythology/timeline type of canon nazi though) and there’s a point you just have to let them go for it. I’m glad you find being restricted to canon helps to keep writers on track. I haven’t seen enough canon slash to really make a call either way but I do know that the fandom needs to be exposed to more canon fic, noisier canon readers and writers, and contests like this, because where we are at now? Most people don’t have a clue what it even means.

      I’m writing another blinking blog post here ;) Anyway, it wouldn’t be a canon contest if you didn’t expect canon fics. I like that. I hope you get a ton of slash ;) I can think of a couple of people in the fandom that would nail it completely. I hope they enter :)

      Ooh, question. Because I don’t read canon-pairing canon, are the majority of them smutty? Porn? Fluffy romance? Is there a general theme? I know most (at the risk of generalising and getting ripped a new one) AH canon-pairing is pretty much romance/smut (slash is fairly much the same, whether AH or vamp), just interested in the content of the canon version. I often imagine it’s something a little more serious or grown-up, you know?

      Oh, and thanks very much for the ‘Jesus boning his disciples’ imagery. That’s gonna last a long time ;)

  • stitchcat

    Now you’ve made me think. Is Dia canon? AU canon? It’s not strictly canon because Maria changed Benito, but if I call it AU is it canon then?

    My POV on vamp sex is that acc to SM the mating bond is a soulmate bond, so they wouldn’t be swinging once they were mated but before that? All bets are off, depending on personality.

    I can’t believe that a human-drinking empath, placed in a situation where aggression was encouraged, wouldn’t be shagging any and everything available. Even SM’s vamps have very strong sexual appetites (after they are married of course!) so I strongly believe there would have been all kinds of pre-mate pairings.

    Carlisle would have been well-educated, perhaps in Greek and Latin too. He would, presumably, been aware of “Greek love”, no?

    And finally, cos I seem to be rambling here, why couldn’t Demetri’s soulmate be a man? Vamps can’t reproduce, there is no reason for nature to dictate a m/f bond so why couldn’t some of the Volturi or the nomads mate with another of the same sex? Surely that would still be in canon?

    • vampireisthenewblack

      Nah, DIA is AU. Peter is described as blonde in the books, right? Plus the Maria changing Benito thing. Id buy your Lucy part of that story as canon though. Oh, and I’ve always thought of Betrayal as canon. Its certainly easier to get creative with the characters of which we know little.

      Greek love was the seed for The Way of Virtue and Fire, Blood, Truth ;)

      And I hate replying on my phone :(

    • vampireisthenewblack

      See I knew id miss something. Yeah I’m finding it difficult to make mated vampires swing. I either have to kill the girls, or get rid of them some other way.

      Yes to human drinkers shagging everything and anything ;) Totally yes to Demetri being just as likely to find a male mate as a female. If SM weren’t quite as straightlaced as she is I’m sure we would have gotten at least a taste of something like that. All the best vampires are pansexual.

      TBH I think it just didn’t occur to her, either that or she did what she did with Edward and Carlisle on purpose…

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