Disclaimer: This post is about my own personal feelings about BDSM in fiction, whether fanfiction or original, published fiction. Obviously I’m not a real life practitioner, so obviously I have no first hand knowledge, so obviously I don’t know shit. I have, however, read real life accounts of BDSM lifestyles and relationships and done my internet research. And I’ve read several fanfictions and original published books where BDSM is a theme. I’m not the kid who says ‘I don’t like that’ when it’s never passed my lips. It has. I’m likely in the same place as many writers of BDSM stories (note I didn’t say all, just many).
The weather is crappy today. Wind, rain, just a normal Hicksville winter weekend. But it’s making the internet very patchy. So I figured I’d use the time to blog (gotta love a desktop blogging app).
Bit of a random topic. This isn’t a rant, or a snark, just something I find myself explaining to people over and over again. I regularly get rec’d stories that are flat out BDSM or have BDSM themes, and I generally say thanks but no thanks.
And I’m met with disbelief, or ‘oh but this is good and you will like it’ or some reason why this one isn’t the kind of BDSM I don’t like and I’d love it if I would only give it a chance. Or, and this made me giggle, it’s a spankfic, not BDSM at all ;)
Don’t get me wrong, I love kink of all kinds. I love to be tied up and spanked, if hubby is so inclined. I have no problem whatsoever with BDSM practices or lifestyles. I have a folder in my porn directory with all manner of kinky shit within.
|He’s beautiful, no? Definitely one of the mildest in my kinky shit folder, this one, but I’m not really a hard core porn poster, so the rest can stay right where it is for now.
There are just some BDSM fics I can read, and some I can’t. Mostly (I’d say 90-95%) they fall into the can’t box. For the very few that fall into the can box, the B&D, D/s, M/s, S&M, spanking, or whatever comes under the BDSM umbrella happens within a loving, committed, monogamous relationship where both partners are equals. And it isn’t 24/7. And there is very little angst.
Yes, that’s right, I can only do BDSM if it is as fluffy as fuck. Weird, huh? I know. If you know me at all, you’ll know that I don’t usually do fluff at all. And I love my angst. But chuck a spanking in with that beautiful pain and I’m scrabbling to get the fuck out of there.
So, there you have it. So if you’re gonna rec a fic to me that has any tiny inkling of BDSM or related themes, take that into account, and if I say thanks but no thanks, don’t try to talk me round. Believe me, I know what I like.
Now, if you wanna rec me some dirty wolf-form puppy loving, go nuts ;) Yes, I cringe at stuff most people don’t bat an eyelid at, but happily read that which causes others to throw up in their mouths. What can I say? I’m a little strange.
Oh, I think I’ll just chuck in an example of BDSM that I can read and did love (once I got past the first couple difficult chapters). Walk Away by hidingfromsomeone. Sweet, fluffy, loving, very low angst, and the sub gets to fuck the Dom when they’re not in a scene :)